As a parent, Lily is my entire world, everything about her fascinates me and as a result I love seeing other people's children on social media, whether that is them taking their first steps or just looking super cute in photos, I however know that not everyone is interested in seeing those and that's okay.
I have recently seen things through a non parents eyes and it changed the way I thought. Previously I couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't want to see a cute baby, smiling or laughing. To me it is the most beautiful and magical part of life and I wanted to share every moment of Lily's development with the people I loved. I now realise that my friends can love Lily without wanting or needing every aspect of her life shoved in their face at every opportunity (However if you don't want to see it. Please feel free to unfriend me) If a person doesn't have a mini human being of their own, it's hard to see them as the most amazing thing in the world. Its impossible to feel that amount of love for someone who isn't your very own child.
My friend who doesn't have children put it in a very realistic and sensible way when we were discussing the differences between us. She said, that in many ways she is selfish, although I understand what she means, that's totally okay, when you don't have someone else to put completely first all the time why shouldn't you be selfish, why wouldn't you put yourself first. When I go out I have to first find someone to look after Lily, then make sure that she is okay/settled, I then spend most of the evening either worrying about her or checking up that she's okay. When friends without children make decisions, whether it be to go for a night out, start a new job, join a new gym class etc they have the freedom to do that as they choose, which of course they should be able to. I as a mum have a to consider Lily and her needs before I make any decision, again that is my choice as her parent. I have found that I have less in common with friends who don't have children. That however doesn't mean that we can no longer be friends, it is just that we have different priorities.
Being a parent made me grow up very quickly and in a way I grew apart from many of my friends, which is natural, I found with a lot of people, now I am no longer available to go out whenever I choose, that certain people stopped inviting me and as a result we grew apart and no longer speak. Again that is okay, it is part of life and growing up. The friends who have stuck by me despite me being a 'boring Mum' are the ones I will have for life. I appreciate the fact that despite not having children, they still love hanging out with Lily and don't mind me speaking about her ALL the time.
My priority is always Lily, as most parents will tell you about their children
So, to my friends without children,
Thank you.
I hope you enjoyed reading
Danielle. x
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